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800px-1x02 Sawyer Close Up

MY GOD.

Sawyer is perhaps the sexiest man alive. He's even sexy when he isn't sexy. That probably just blew your mind. Well get used to it. He likes to degrade people by calling them nicknames, such as "Lardo". So poetic.


Sawyer is also the LOST character whose Jooppedia page is

the lames (see above for details.)

Flashback to frakked up childhood and suave adolescenceEdit

When he was eight years old his parents went to a pyramid scheme time share meeting, and Jimmy was sent to Grandma's. Turns out grandma was a white sumpremisist/gun enthusiast/militia member. As Gran believed in introducing guns to children at a young age, and also she had to go make love to a certain sexy time traveler named Sawyer, she gave James his own special gun. Momma and Daddy came home and everything was hunky dory until James shot his parents in a drunken haze (he was brooding and awesome even then.) Having the learned the art of faking a crime scene from the gamechanging, groundbreaking television show Little House on the Prairie, the police, who were also drunk, took it as a tragic murder/suicide . After an incident we would rather forget involving Jacob at his parents funeral, jimmy was sent grandma's. But Gran had left to train to be an insurgent in Somalia, somehow linking her to Nadia, who links to Sayid! (Isn't this show just crazy?) James did quite good by himself for a while until he lost a betting contest regarding if he could appear not sexy. Despite his best efforts, he lost. While in the library, where he would often steal books from hot people who fell down the library steps, he got an idea only our clever hunk could come up with. One thing led to another, and he slept with the librarian and took all her rich-ass husband's money, yet tragically still remained hot white trash.


Main Characters
BenClaireDesmondFrankHurleyIlanaJackJinKateMilesRichardSawyerSayidSunWalt
Ana LuciaBooneCharlieCharlotteDanielEkoJulietLibbyLockeThe Man in BlackMichaelNikkiPauloShannon

See also: Supporting characters

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